LEARNING TO MANAGE YOUR ANGER (by MERCY MARVELLOUS ALONGE)
It is the beginning of an entirely new working day/week; beware of Lagos traffic! The hustle and bustle in streets hasn’t being altered. The previous day, a Sunday to be precise, and obviously a “no lecture” day had me chilling as I busied myself with a movie from which the subject of this article is coined.
Anger! That sensation of fury when your boss throws all the work at you and expects you to stay up late and finish them. That enraging feeling when you struggle to get a front seat and at the end of it all,the lecturer fails to show up(year one). Or when that trusted friend gets busy spilling out your most confidential issue. However way it is, we are all aware of its meaning and we’ve felt it quite frequently.
To continue, I would share one story from which one can deduce the bitterness of this quality-anger.
Once at a showroom, a woman sighted a glittering diamond ring which she was desirous to have as a birthday present. Days passed and she got signs that her husband had most likely gotten that enchanting ring. On that beautiful day,having looked forward to the moment of receiving her gift or to be specific, the ring, she tore open the parcel and there,before her,was a lovely Bible with her name engraved in it. Astounded, she was aroused by a surge of Anger as it was like a burning flame within her just like the hot-headed anger character from the movie ‘Inside Out’. Oh she was furious! “Of all the wealth you have accumulated it’s only a Bible you can afford as a present?” And so with the fury she emitted, she stormed out of the house and never returned until after a long time – when she got the news of her husband’s death and the property left in her care. Going through his documents, she came across the Bible presented to her years back. Skimming through it, a small parcel fell out and to her utmost surprise, it was that same lovely ring she sighted back then at the showroom. Uncontrollably, tears flowed from her eyes as she recalled her actions and their aftermath.
Being angry is normal for we are all humans. But your response which sometimes might be mindless, would put you in a state of regret for a lengthy period. People’s tendencies to anger are various. Some never want to listen to another’s point of view. They are assumptive and quickly draw conclusions. But chill! There should be a reason why he/she acted the way they did. Try to understand their fact as well. Others feel it’s inborn. They believe its part of them and cannot be changed so they therefore unleash their “potentials” at any possible time.
Suha Hoedi, a self healing therapist, gave us 10 effective strategies on how to manage anger.
1. Acknowledge and accept your anger.
2. Take a deep breath.
3. Understand your feelings-if you feel betrayed and disappointed.
4. Do something positive to let go of your anger.
5. Call a friend – there is nothing better than having someone listening to your rage.
6. Communicate your feelings.
7. Listen to the other person’s point of view.
8. Find a solution.
9. Learn from the situation.
10. Talk to a therapist – if you are struggling with a deep anger problem and don’t know how to deal with it.
Manage your anger. You would not be favored for spitting lashing words neither would you for a contorted face. Instead, you would face the negative side of your environment. “Don’t be bitter, be better”.